Can you share a lesson that you learned later in life and how it has impacted your current lifestyle, mentality, or attitude?
Last Updated: 29.06.2025 01:10
Whether it was a friend asking for a favor, an invitation I didn’t feel like accepting, or even a stranger requesting my time, I hesitated to say no
Many people especially girls will be able to connect with this answer.
I used to be the kind of person who found it incredibly hard to say no. I would keep people’s feelings above mine.
I would spend hours, sometimes days, replaying the decision in my head, regretting my response, wishing I had been honest.
No meant she is being rebellious.
It’s very refreshing.
This is how I paid for not being able to say NO.
Everytime I said yes when I wanted to say no, I paid the price.
It drained me, messed with my peace, and cluttered my mind with unnecessary stress.
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I have ruined my sleep & rest hours with nonsense calls from nonsense people. No matter what the time, I have picked up their calls & listened to their rant for hours. I could not be blunt saying, ‘no am not interested in talking’
It’s very settling.
But my mind wouldn’t let go of it.
I lost a lot of money trying to fit in. I don’t like expensive English meals at fancy restaurants. But my friends did. I couldn’t say No thinking I would be judged. But I love ‘Desi food’. I didn’t enjoy the food, & I ended up paying huge split bills so many times
It has been an easy life.
No is a complete sentence & it should not be just used for CONSENT for sex.
I lost a lot of my time to help, keeping my needs aside & the favour was never returned because most people took my time for granted & I also hesitated to ask for help
It’s very freeing.
But here’s the hard truth I learned much later in life.
I always felt obligated to be polite, to be accommodating, to be the “nice” person because the dictionary of ‘good girl’ means they should be accommodating according to the society.
I couldn’t say No to strangers talking & invading my personal life. It made me uncomfortable but somehow I entertained forcibly. This made me realize that I was an easy target for them. They thought of me as an easy prey. This always ended up hurting me because I knew there should be a boundary set , yet I couldn’t set it as I was just a naive small town girl
I was always that one eager person to help someone in need without realising the consequences it might have. I have helped people from Quora & other places during the time when I had nothing on me. I couldn’t say No when a man manipulated me into giving him a huge amount for his daughters education during Covid. I later got fed up asking him to return. He returned after two years. His wife was a working lady at a good corporate place. He lied to me as he wanted money for his alcohol addiction
It’s very freeing.
I am thankful to my profession & how I started from scratch that I was able to become so blunt & straight forward.
-Smita Mishra
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